IMPRISONED

fear

imprisons us all,

once we learn to distrust ourselves

we stop trusting everybody,

we distrust life itself.

i am tired of blaming

what I am afraid you’ll think of me,

if I allow myself to be fully free

each uncertain moment,

because I have not made a lasting peace

with myself, I still look to you

for approval and acceptance,

I am addicted to love,

to people who applaud me, 

i am addicted to achievement

and the brief ego pump that it affords me,

i am addicted to distracting my self from my 

uncomfortable feelings with busyness, 

the news, T.V..with anything,

I self abandon..

i surf the internet to avoid meeting myself

i am a crazy person and can be dangerous;

i can criticize and condemn my thoughts, actions, and lack of action,

my mind is a bad neighborhood and i’ve been told more than once

not to travel there alone,

what will it take for me to say

“FUCK YOU” 

to my fear  and mean it?

when will i review my case, 

forgive and parole me?

at least i see and admit 

that this jail cell keeps me much smaller than

i’m meant to be,

i acknowledge the impact of global warming too..

they say you need only three things 

to wake up to joyous enlightenment:

awareness, awareness and...awareness.