Intentional or Not-Everything You Do Makes a Difference
It’s hard to imagine two people-strangers-walking past one another on an unpaved rural road without sharing a greeting of some sort. I’m not saying that sort of interaction never happens for us in our modern, urban day to day busyness but for the number of times we pass by each other on our way from one task to the next, or stand in lines at a checkout, we have many chances to connect but usually don’t.
You think it’s because we are taught at an early age not to talk to strangers? Or maybe because we once made eye contact with some large angry person who threatened us with a “What chew lookin at” glare. Is it fear, a habit we learned to protect ourselves from potential stranger danger. Are we humans that scary or are we so lost in our own thoughts and concerns that we barely notice one another?
I took a leisurely bike ride earlier today. The weather was a perfect 75 degrees in January in Phoenix Az. so there were lots of people walking about that I passed along my way. People walking their dogs or jogging or bicycling like myself. I rode for almost an hour and the reason I’m writing this is when I got back home I felt sad noticing that most people don’t look up, don’t make eye contact, don’t say hello, smile, wave, nod or in some other manner acknowledge one another.
Not every single person kept their eyes averted we passed each other but except for a couple of exceptions, I couldn't make eye contact with anybody! Am I weird that I look at people when I am out and about? The few that did look up or return my efforts appeared grim and determined like they were preoccupied with some pretty important concerns or just very focused on getting to their destination. Or something...
I understand to an extent that a woman alone outside is going to be cautious and protective of herself when passing by a man but it’s not 4 in the morning in a deserted parking lot, it’s two in the afternoon in broad daylight. Men usually appear even less present and when they do return a greeting, more often it’s with a quick wave or nod of the head Clint Eastwood style, cool and busy as in-busy, don’t interrupt or bother me. They’re not writing a novel for cryin out loud, they’re taking a walk!
I remember back in high school the importance of looking tough and manly but hey-we’re adults now, aren’t we? I find it’s easier to engage teenagers briefly and they will usually acknowledge your greeting with some sort of reply. Even younger kids look at every thing in the world because they’re still curious and not too afraid although they’ve been trained in “stranger danger”. They almost always look at the world around them, perhaps cautiously but at least they are present in the world here and now.
Grocery stores seem to provide the best opportunities for interaction. Probably because we know we’re not going anywhere fast when we’re in the check out lane so we slow down and relax a bit. Plus, we’re kinda trapped right? I’ve had some enjoyable exchanges while waiting which certainly makes the time pass more quickly and pleasantly. And speaking of speaking to each other in grocery stores, why does every body automatically apologize when they notice they are blocking you from reaching the mayo or getting their cart past yours? It just happens so rapidly I find myself replying, “No problem” to thin air. You would think by now after hundreds of these encounters, we’d start to relax and get it-we’re all in this thing together; this line, this aisle, this community, this world. I dunno-
Like everybody else I value my alone time and also have my days when I’m stressed and locked inside my own thoughts. Even so, I try to remember that it makes me feel better when I connect, even slightly to another fellow human being. It’s good for the soul and good for the heart. It even reminds me to let go of what ever I’m dwelling on, especially if it’s just making me worried or upset.
A friend of mine told me she likes to keep an intention of leaving every place she goes just a little lighter and brighter and in better shape then when she arrived. I try to keep this in mind. I am more aware of the responsibility I have and the impact I make on the world around me and every person that comes within my orbit, however briefly. Maybe we just need to wake up to the fact that whether we are conscious of it or not, intentional or oblivious we all do impact the world, we all do make a difference. Am I bringing warmth into a world that is often cold and troubled or am I lost inside my self and adding to the isolation of modern urban life. I try to remember to embody the change I wish to see in this world but I often forget this.
Ya know, I seem to recall a long time back there was this dude who had a ton of friends following him around everywhere. He suggested that we love our neighbors. “Neighbors “sounds a little more approachable than “strangers”. Words are powerful, strange can be a scary word. So can “change”. Maybe we just need to steel ourselves and be courageous and stay aware that we affect the quality of the world around us each day in positive or negative ways.
For whatever our reasons are to keep to ourselves in public, keep in mind that the world needs all the kindness and light it can get and WE are the one’s who choose to express that or not. Either way, you make a difference, we make a difference. Something to think about. Just sayin...
