AM I WILLING?
I am willing to really feel
how terribly alone and meaningless
it feels, has always felt
to be separated from God,
to be separated from myself?
I am willing to acknowledge, grieve and heal
that long jagged rend
in the fabric of my wholeness?
I am willing to do,
to look, to feel, to see
everything and anything I must,
to clear the way to admit God.
To open to both shadow and light,
to welcome all of my selves,
and become whole again?
I am willing to surrender
my possessions and habits,
beliefs and self-aggrandizing dreams.
Half measures avail me not.
When having God in my life
this moment and the next,
and the next is as important
as my next breath…
That is when God will stop
these fleeting random visits
and take up permanent residence
in the welcoming warmth
of my own heart.
