The Pursuit of Happiness

  I think it’s unfortunate that we here in the good ol U.S of A. have a holiday designated to remind us once a year to be grateful for all we have and are provided with. I think of the prior Native American cultures and their practice of thanking plants, animals, water, wind, etc. for nurturing and sustaining their lives and those of their families; every day of the year was Thanksgiving.  Their simple acknowledgement of the interconnections between themselves and Earth’s abundant resources providing them with abundance resulted in the ritual expression of gratitude and prayer.

I think the practice of gratitude has far reaching effects on the lives of those who entertain it. I personally was raised with the “glass half empty” perspective and have spent a large part of my adult life letting go of the scarcity point of view and trading it for a “half full” point of view. The one results in a genuine and sustainable happiness, the other in discontent and restlessness. It initially surprised me to learn that gratitude precedes joy and not the other way around.

The pursuit of happiness promised us in the Constitution seems to have become a self fulfilling prophecy. Our culture is indeed addicted to a sense of scarcity and results in an  addiction to consuming more and more. The adage “looking for love in all the wrong places” can be substituted with our futile search for “happiness” in all the wrong places.   We are in fact, addicted and driven by marketing and societal brainwashing to continuously pursue happiness and briefly if ever, obtain it. Usually our happiness is superficial because it comes from a sort of temporary glow over our brand new, upgraded cell phone, laptop, car, shoes, etc. you fill in the blank. These purchases and accumulations don’t really get to the heart of our hearts resulting in the deeper joy and satisfaction we long for.

I have trouble with Christmas itself. The Scrooge is the icon for stingy self- centeredness. The Grinch another American “humbug” character. I wouldn’t be surprised if the origin of the Grinch was dreamt up by some marketing executive in a moment of inspiration. Let’s guilt the public into buying gifts for others in the name of generosity of spirit, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. If you really contemplate it, do you think Christ would be promoting a once a year, buying and giving spree  rather then a continuous generosity born of genuine affection rooted in a daily spirit of love ansd appreciation?

Are we so consumed by the modern frenzy and speed of life on an average day? Alvin  Toffler wrote “Future Shock” way back in the early sixties. Have we stopped to notice the effects on our own health and well being of others from our over stimulated, compulsive “doing” and manically over-achieving society?  The symptoms of depression and anxiety are seen in our ever growing dependence on pharmaceuticals to mask and manage these symptoms. 

How would life here be different for us all if we began to be satisfied with owning the same car for 8 or ten years? Buying a house just large enough for the size and needs of our families instead of some extravagant castle?  Working only 40 hours a week and leaving ourselves time and energy to spend with our families in activities that nurture our bodies and souls?

Is it time to wake up neighbors? Wake up perhaps and see that the solution to the dilemmas we face economically, environmentally, physically, psychologically and spiritually are driven by our unbalanced manic racing towards “more, better, faster”.  When is enough enough? How is your peace and serenity doing?

Another obvious and fatal result of our frenzied lifestyle in our alleged ”developed nations” is our life threatening addictions like drinking, smoking, lusting and over eating to name just a few. On the other end of our dis-ease we are greeted by debilitating and/or fatal afflictions such as heart attacks,  cancer and the myriad forms of illness that all to some degree or another suffer from. 

We are the only animals on this planet that do harm to ourselves, that knowingly practice unhealthy behaviors. How bad do things have to get for us all before we are willing to collectively stop, and take a united and realistic assessment of how our behaviors, beliefs and habitual ways of thinking are driving us toward extinction?  Call me an alarmist or a curmudgeon like Scrooge and keep your head buried in the sand  but if we don’t awaken to our unmindful self defeating actions now, we will continue to pay the price until perhaps we are no longer around to pay at all.

The Gratitude Attitude

                         * A friend enlightened my one day (luckily) to the secret of ending the pursuit of happiness and achieving joy. I told him that whenever things worked out for me I would become happy. He told me I had it backwards; he said, "Be grateful first, then joy will follow".  He was very right. Wish I'd a met him a thousand years ago!

 ..a poor monk walking barefoot through the market place was unhappy that he could not afford some shoes when he turned a corner and saw a man sitting on the ground without any feet.

The quality of our lives is determined by the way we look at things. Many of us were raised unintentionally to focus on what we didn’t have and then go about making plans and taking actions to get it. I know that I am guilty of living the majority of my life from the “glass half empty” perspective. The culture that we Americans live in fosters this perspective through millions of dollars of marketing every day. Products have built in obsolescence and the next technological upgrade is just around the corner making our state of the art cell phone antiquated and just not good enough. The medium is indeed, the massage. 

Although the purpose of “news” in paper and television is to inform the public, media seems to have settled on the same strategy to increase sales and profits. 90% of what we read and hear is disturbing news often presented in a sensationalized form. The news has become a product to sell; in the middle of a sitcom we are interrupted by a ‘come on’ or ‘hook’ that is shaped to seduce us into tuning in to that stations news at eleven if we want to hear more about the wildfire driven by 50 mile an hour winds or the fate of the airliner that nearly crashed during takeoff when the pilot had a heart attack at the wheel. Very intriguing stuff; we love our novels and movies-we are a curious bunch. The networks and newspapers and magazines and radio get their audiences and more importantly, the money they are competing for with one another.

I listen to mainstream news less and less because I find it disturbing and frightening and too much “bad news” results for me in a feeling of powerlessness-there is nothing I can do to change the way things are- the world is out of my control, natural disasters and more disturbingly, man made disasters, ongoing wars fueled by hatred, fear and/or greed continue to abound. Greed, corruption, economic woes,political dysfunction and social inequities add to our chagrin. We seem not to learn from history and continue to try to solve problems using the same strategies as before and making the same old mistakes.

The good news is, although we each have a limited impact on the ways of the world at large we can have control of how we choose to view the world we live in. We can lament and focus on what is lacking like the monk in our story or learn to look for and appreciate all the abundance and beauty that surrounds us daily. The way we see the world creates our attitude and if we consciously work at seeing the positive aspects of life we develop an attitude of gratitude which in fact does effect the people we come into contact with encouraging them to also see the glass half full instead of half empty. One point of view results in anxiety, stress, and disease. The other results in health, happiness and contentment. 

As more and more of us learn how to accept the often unpleasant realities of life and instead begin to choose to dwell on all the good things provided to us, we actually do impact and change the way the world is. This is the only way to achieve a better world; by becoming the change we wish to see, one person at a time. We humans do individually and then collectively create the world as it is. 

The solution is simple but it is takes intention and persistent conscious work to achieve change. I remember walking along the shore in California quietly, peacefully enjoying a magnificent sunset when I looked up at the cliffs and noticed all these fantastic multi-million dollar homes where the residents could view this beauty any time they wanted. Not fair! Suddenly, I was wanting again what I did not have and imagining that my happiness would increase if I lived in one of those homes when I had been perfectly happy moments before experiencing the inspiration of that miraculous sunset!

As simple as the solution is, the challenge to change the way we look at life from the habitual deeply ingrained perspective of ‘scarcity’ (Scare City) to one of abundance and gratitude is hard work requiring a willingness to commit to being aware of our own behaviors and thinking. I find that I need support in the form of encouragement and guidance from other like-intended people. 

My advice to myself and whoever else may want it is to choose your friends wisely and be discriminating when you choose your news.

Bottom line; when I notice that each breath I take is a gift that I am not entitled to, it is impossible for me to not be joyous and content. Every day can be Thanksgiving. Enjoy all the holidays!

Grasping God

Whatever package your God comes in

Doesn't matter at all,

If it gifts you with faith

Grab on and hold it close

As if your joy depends on it

Because it does

Once you are overflowing with joy

Just think of all the needed light

You will shine upon 

This frightened, weary world.