Friday, May 4, 2012

#56: The Truth as Light


#56
i haven’t said a wise word, 
written a fine line,
in a long while.
Disconnected,
i am falling away from the light,
falling from that great height
into the abyss of uncertainty,
fear and self recrimination..

I keep dusting off old medals 
to reduce the amount of shame I feel,
to remind myself that at times I shine,
It encourages me, when I’m lost on the edge 
of my own darkness
afraid to negotiate the journey
down yet another unknown road,
afraid of discomfort,
afraid to let go of control, 
even when I know this control
is illusion..
I cling to the edge of faith
afraid to surrender to authority 
outside myself,
unwilling to feel humility,
admit my neediness,
 reach out for another's divine hand.
i am afraid to lose my self
and yet, 
afraid to find myself,
I need all my excuses
to continue playing safe and small.

Admitting this 
is one step through that fear.
i want to live from largeness,
I want to live in and from light,
no longer hiding in shadows 
of my own making.
This world is dark with secrets,
I choose to tell my truth,
contribute light.