LOSING THE LIGHT
I haven’t said a wise word
or written a fine line,
in a long time.
Disconnected,
I am falling from light,
falling from that great height
into an abyss of uncertainty,
fear and self recrimination.
I keep dusting off old medals
to reduce the amount of shame I feel,
to remind myself that at times I shine,
It encourages me, when I’m lost on the edge
of my own darkness,
afraid to negotiate the journey
down yet another unknown road.
afraid of discomfort,
afraid of control,
afraid to let go.
I cling to the edge of faith,
defying authority,
resisting humility,
admitting my neediness
I reach out for another’s holy hand.
Afraid to lose my self
and yet,
afraid to find myself
I make excuses
to continue playing safe and small.
Admitting this here
is a step through the fear.
I want to live from largeness,
I want to live in and from light,
no longer hiding in shadows
of my own making.
This world is dark with secrets,
I choose to tell my truth,
illuminate.
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