#56: The Truth as Light

#56

i haven’t said a wise word, 

written a fine line,

in a long while.

Disconnected,

i am falling away from the light,

falling from that great height

into the abyss of uncertainty,

fear and self recrimination..

I keep dusting off old medals 

to reduce the amount of shame I feel,

to remind myself that at times I shine,

It encourages me, when I’m lost on the edge 

of my own darkness

afraid to negotiate the journey

down yet another unknown road,

afraid of discomfort,

afraid to let go of control, 

even when I know this control

is illusion..

I cling to the edge of faith

afraid to surrender to authority 

outside myself,

unwilling to feel humility,

admit my neediness,

 reach out for another's divine hand.

i am afraid to lose my self

and yet, 

afraid to find myself,

I need all my excuses

to continue playing safe and small.

Admitting this 

is one step through that fear.

i want to live from largeness,

I want to live in and from light,

no longer hiding in shadows 

of my own making.

This world is dark with secrets,

I choose to tell my truth,

contribute light.