IF THE SEA COULD BOIL...

ILLUMINATE

LOSING THE LIGHT

I haven’t said a wise word 

or written a fine line,

in a long time.

Disconnected,

I am falling from light,

falling from that great height

into an abyss of uncertainty,

fear and self recrimination.

I keep dusting off old medals 

to reduce the amount of shame I feel,

to remind myself that at times I shine,

It encourages me, when I’m lost on the edge 

of my own darkness,

afraid to negotiate the journey

down yet another unknown road.

afraid of discomfort,

afraid of control,

afraid to let go.

I cling to the edge of faith,

defying authority,

resisting humility,

admitting my neediness

I reach out for another’s holy hand.

 Afraid to lose my self

and yet, 

afraid to find myself

I make excuses

to continue playing safe and small.

Admitting this here

is a step through the fear.

I want to live from largeness,

I want to live in and from light,

no longer hiding in shadows 

of my own making.

This world is dark with secrets,

I choose to try

to tell my truth and, 

...Illuminate.

looking good

Looking Good

The Guest doesn’t care what time you think it is, 

or if you are asleep,

and believe you need your rest, 

because you have to work tomorrow.

Work at what?

The guest knows exactly what time it is; 

it is time to wake up 

to the one thing you need to know

which is, 

who you really are.

Dark parts: 

enemies were sent to teach you

how to embrace the unlovable

shadows of your self.

Become whole.

The peace you make with your self

will change this troubled world

into a playground of delight.

What we look like to the world means nothing.

What the world looks like to us

is all that matters..

LIKE A RIVER ROCK

Like a River Rock

Trust:

Be patient like the rock, 

feel life rush through and around you,

Gushing streams of grief

 will wear away your jaggedness,

wash away your madness,

and smooth you like a stone,

Faith:

Be uncertain like a river

and meander to the sea.

That route of least resistance

will speed you home to me,

Strength:

Use courage like a fist

to break thru what would hold you back,

Persevere and friends will support you

with the love you think you lack,

When all else fails, pray 

and be lifted from your knees, 

The light of your divinity

will carry you to me.

12912

GOOD WEED WROTE THIS POEM

GOOD WEED WROTE THIS POEM

I’m pulling old poems out of the archives. 

Because there is nothing new I’ve learned, 

Nothing new to share. 

It feels like the journey is over.

But really, happily

It’s the stress and struggle that’s gone.

No body promised me a bowl of cherries. 

But no one ever taught me how to handle the pits. 

I’ve survived myself

As I like to say to the men

My age who are still here as well. 

Against the odds. 

Here’s to adventure. 

The hero's journey. 

Here’s to not knowing where you're going

But clarity about what it is you are going for.

It usually isn’t until my own honest pain

drops me to my knees

that i surrender who i think i am 

and let that frightened uncertainty

channel wisdom through God

who writes all the poems, 

the good ones anyway.

9/24/19

Playful Otter