ILLUMINATE

LOSING THE LIGHT

I haven’t said a wise word 

or written a fine line,

in a long time.

Disconnected,

I am falling from light,

falling from that great height

into an abyss of uncertainty,

fear and self recrimination.

I keep dusting off old medals 

to reduce the amount of shame I feel,

to remind myself that at times I shine,

It encourages me, when I’m lost on the edge 

of my own darkness,

afraid to negotiate the journey

down yet another unknown road.

afraid of discomfort,

afraid of control,

afraid to let go.

I cling to the edge of faith,

defying authority,

resisting humility,

admitting my neediness

I reach out for another’s holy hand.

 Afraid to lose my self

and yet, 

afraid to find myself

I make excuses

to continue playing safe and small.

Admitting this here

is a step through the fear.

I want to live from largeness,

I want to live in and from light,

no longer hiding in shadows 

of my own making.

This world is dark with secrets,

I choose to try

to tell my truth and, 

...Illuminate.