# 36: Rock & Roll

                                                                     Rock & Roll

i lurch forward from habit

but i don’t know where i’m going.

love...light...goodness...hope

have become words empty of meaning,

Where am I?

i drink a drink,

i feed myself,

i wash a dish,

but i don’t understand for one moment

what i am supposed 

to be doing,

i don’t want to perform for anyone today,
especially not myself.

I intend to visit the abyss,

I want to disappear entirely,

 see what’s left when who i think i am

is fully gone.

i want to be what i was meant to be, 
I want a reason for

all this breathing

in and out and gently

back and forth.

i have become a rocking chair

moving yet going no where,

just rolling sweetly back and forth

moment to moment 

to moment.

Now that i’ve quit moving

I close my eyes 

and try to think of one sage thing 

to say,

“shhhh!”

I'm tired of talking

and writing and thinking.
 My goal is just to rock and roll,
happily doing nothing at all.