ATONE

I long to round the urban corner, 

Leave behind measurements of distance,

Doings and achievements, 

Fall

Into that sweet field, 

The one that Rumi speaks of,

Where we somersault

Free of our judgments

Of Right, Wrong, Good, Bad

And One Another. 

I long to achieve a perception of you, 

That no longer requires me to tolerate, accept or forgive you, 

A perception that never demands 

That you be any different than you are.

Until I round that corner,

Until I meet you in that field of love,

I pray to do the next best thing:

Atone for my judgments.

AND BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE

The final obstacle is the intention;

It is the egos clever decision to do whatever it takes

To make itself happy, even if it means living an unselfish life,

Even if it means thinking of others and putting their needs and wants first.

But this is doomed thinking. 

Action based on any agenda to serve the self is futile.

It will not get you into heaven because heaven 

is the surrender of self and self concern. 

Serenity, Joy and the infinite energy of Love

is available only to those who discard their attachments, 

any and all attachments to gaining anything at all. 

There can be no fear and no thought of scarcity. 

There need be no Leap of Faith

Because this implies that at the end of that leap

You will be saved.

No,

 there must be a complete and total acquiescence,

A giving up entirely. 

No redemption, illumination, nor heavenly reward,

Just the true Dark Night of the Soul..

The deep and complete release from all desires..

Nothing is left but nothing,

Infinite darkness,

Silent and empty

Of hope, of beliefs, of needs.

This is where God’s great gift is hidden,

In this last place, beyond even the looking for God.

When the delusion 

That we ourselves are not God finally collapses, 

We are left with what we had all along 

Hoped was true,

We are all our very own super heroes, 

Capable of the greatest of feats,

 Rescuing goodness for goodness sake;

                                                           Being Good for Goodness Sake                                                                       

SELF-ABANDONMENT

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Self Abandonment

He stood so still at the tide pools,

perched on one leg like a flamingo 

disappearing, becoming a feature of the shoreline,

“Cephalopods,”

said the 4 year old to the librarian.

“Huh?” 

said his father. 

Animals used to come to his wide open openness 

and curiosity. 

Butterflies rested safely on his shoulders..

He wrote and illustrated stories,

his life one great imagination.

Then came the great Seducer. 

Standing in the herd,

the need for being heard. 

He imagined himself cool

and created perhaps a fool

for applause, for approval. 

He gained notoriety

and lost sobriety,

Everyone knew the him he invented

but in that inventing,

he lost himself.

We all do this.

 We trade ourselves away

for a measly back slap.

We abandon ourselves so that others won’t. 

We go missing..

Then a moment comes..

a quiet clarity

and we remember 

when everything in and on the 

great blue ball glistened and beckoned us. 

Everything I look at and touch in this world

becomes a part of me,

I am the size of all that i embrace. 

Perhaps it’s time to cut free from this cocoon of appearances, 

reopen to a world

infinite in possibilities and interests. 

Step out of the small constricting construction you present to the world.

Open wide, 

embrace with fascination all the world

as only the innocence 

of a child can. 

Return to the true you.

FORMLESS

FORMLESS

This aged suit is threadbare and tattered,

 been scattered in more ways and places

than I can  recall.

The man in this mirror looks strange to me.

There are hairs growing on the outside of my nose

that I can only see with my readers.

My soul is still a child,

innocent,

 and doesn't understand

this slow decay into formlessness.

I am tired and retired,

given plenty of time to ponder

what this life was all about, 

what this life was meant to be, 

what this life may yet reveal..

MURKY

Life is Murky

..and constantly changing.

Nothing is truly still.

Rocks crumble into soil.

Leaves rot enriching soil,

feeding and encouraging seeds

 towards sunlight.

Nothing really leaves or dies.

Everything stays

mysterious, murky and always moving.

Everything is sliding into everything.

We are not apart from anything.

We are a part of everything.

We ourselves are murky and uncertain,

frightened only

by our need to know.

We are awed and eased

and light as light

when we surrender to the embrace 

of the infinite mystery.