THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP THAT AFFECTS UR LIFE IS THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH U!

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I wonder if I will someday wake up and feel excitement towards the day? I wonder if I will get up with an enthusiasm for whatever will come my way?  

For so long I have awakened with trepidation, fear and even dread at times. Life seems so arduous. I have a habit of feeling unfairly victimized which means I have a habit of stamping my feet, pouting, feeling sorry for myself and or getting depressed and despairing when things don’t go as I want them to go, when I am inconvenienced...

It is no trick to breath a sigh of relief or feel the presence of God when the lights are green, the parking place is there, unexpected money comes to you, our children get an award, your favorite sport team goes to the playoffs, etc. It is so easy to be happy with life when life accommodates me. We were taught to expect things from life and when life shows up differently we were taught to become unhappy. We were taught to try to change things. We were taught to judge and criticize others and the state of the world. We were taught to try and make the world a better place by behaving ourselves. By being “appropriate”. Now there’s a word that can attack anyone anywhere without warning. 

My mission is/was; to create a world safe to play in by living fearlessly and interacting from an open heart with all my relations...

....laziness is fear. It is a way to permit myself to run from what I do need to do. The choice comes first, then the first step, and then...all the rest gets easier. You gather momentum. You become unstoppable. You crash into victory no matter what the endeavor results in because the victory is in the process itself. 

You travel forward into the unknown. This brings the adventure you long for. This opens your life up to surprises, challenges, victories and defeats. All outcomes judged become measurements of ourselves and whether we accept or reject ourselves.  Results do not define our worthiness-we determine how happy we are to be ourselves and success is lovingly accepting our current reality as it is here and now. Pain is mandatory and occurs now and again. Self rejection, reality rejection creates a tension which depresses and eventually sickens our body. 

 As long as we show up and put ourselves out there...as long as we risk the judgements of others...until we learn that right and wrong and good and bad are just ideas created by those fearful folks in authority (parents, teachers, law makers)  to control us so that they feel safer...until we decide that whatever we do or don’t do requires absolutely no self assessment...we will continue to regret the past and fear the future and live in our heads instead of in this moment, fully present and open heartedly. 

Love and joy is a by product of living freely. You can do no wrong; dance your dance and sing your song!

amen

Stop and...

FATHERS' DAY JUNE 16, 2013

Dad‘s Eulogy

I never did sing for my father,

While he could hear,

Nor did I dance for him

That he might see me celebrate

His strength, courage, integrity.

For far too long

Did I imagine him against me,

And so decided

To be against him.

He did not love me

In ways I wanted,

I needed him closer 

To set me straight.

I grew crooked

Without his attention..

Remembering him now though,

Straightens me.

My father never quit a thing,

Complained, or shed a tear

 For himself.

Holes in his socks,

A drunken wife,

Five children and he stayed.

I never honored my father

For pulling the wagon

That was his family,

Dutifully day after thankless day.

My immigrant father,

Peasant farmer,

Cosack survivor,

Who measured men from the neck up..

after 96 years

has finally fallen.

I sit with him in his final hours

With nothing left to say.

He is gone without a word,

to that place i don’t exist,

I place my hand upon his once broad forearm

a single tear rolls down my cheek and suddenly,

 “He’s Awake!”

And startled back to here and now.

“I know you! “ he exclaims,

Smiling and alert,

“Why you’re my number two son, Harvey!”

A leap of heart,

A flood of joy,

An ocean of tears..

All I ever really wanted from my father

Was for him to see me.

---

FATHERS' DAY PRAYER

COVERT ADVICE FROM A FATHER TO A SON

COVERT ADVICE FROM A FATHER TO A SON

It’s an interesting game 

this thing we call life

it will challenge and bring you 

to struggles and strife

we forget who we are

in our need to belong

we abandon ourselves

to be part of the throng

some get it right

but most have it wrong

unite with your own self

and sing your own song

there’s a way to connect

without losing your head

choose sometimes to follow

when you trust where you’re led

through kind hearted actions

and not what is said

your soul is your own

so be sure it gets fed

don’t sell out for the pleasures

that come and then go

keep in sight of the light

don’t get lost in the glow

or seduced by the ego 

what you think that you know

be true to yourself and 

don’t play tell and show

surrender desires

and go with your flow

wash yourself of yourself

be like melting snow

come back to your wholeness

there is no where to go

remember that this 

hide and seek is a game

keep sight of your truth

don’t forget why you came

we are all so unique

yet we still are the same

don’t be held back by fear

or hidden by shame

don’t get lost in your ego

and kidnapped by fame

account for your choices

there’s no one to blame

through the valleys and shadows

hold tight to one name

be it allah or yahweh

mohammed or christ

hindi or buddha

or yoda, the force

they are all the same god

all from the same source

it was fun to go rhyming

and play with the words

this poem is profound

and this poem is absurd

a fathers advice

by a son can’t be heard

so step into your own shoes

away from the herd

listen hard for your hearts voice

become your own Nerd.